The definition of being indecisive, according to vocabulary.com is this:
If you’re indecisive, you have a hard time making decisions. When you finally do make a decision, you may not be confident about it, or you might change your mind.
I have come to the conclusion that I am one of those people who find making decisions about things really difficult. In fact I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to work it out. If I have to make a decision about anything, I find it incredibly difficult, which is quite ridiculous when you think about it.
Actually that’s not always true. I’ve worked this out – sometimes I can make decisions easily. I think what it is, is that if I am put under pressure to make a decision that is when I get completely stressed out. If I am out and not looking for anything in particular and see something I love, then I’m ok.
Even as a child I was reluctant to give opinions about things. If someone asked me my favourite colour as a child, or even now, I would honestly find it impossible to say just one. My reason for this is because there are so many beautiful colours and so many delightful shades of each one that there is no way on earth I want to commit to choosing just one, especially when I love some shades of blue, some of green, some pink, some yellow… it also depends on what you are choosing the colour for. An example here is I might say my favourite colour is the shade of yellow the same as the banana flavour of instant whip (or Angel Delight or whatever) but I wouldn’t want to buy a pair of trousers in that colour. (That’s not my favourite colour by the way.) I also love some shades of green but I don’t think green particularly suits me. I love some bright pink flowers like roses and gerberas, I love the colour of the sky when it’s the middle of the summer and there’s not a single cloud in the sky, I love the colour of the sea in the summer when the sun is reflecting on it, I love the colour of the vase I bought in the sale… You see why I have a problem with this? Or am I just odd?
When I have a manicure, it takes me forever to choose a colour. Even when I have chosen, I’ll often change my mind at the last minute. Invariably after this final decision I’ll wonder if I have made the best choice, or would something different have suited me better.
A more major purchase a few years ago – we bought a new car and chose red – a really lovely, bright, sports car type red. The car is awesome and looks great. I know it looks lovely (especially when it’s clean!) and even the lady working in the petrol station complimented it the other day and said how much she loved it. Despite this, every now and again I wonder if I should have chosen blue, or white…
If friends ask where I’d like to go for food, I’ll generally say I don’t mind, but then often be unhappy with their choices for various reasons. I think I need to make, “I don’t mind – you choose,” a thing of the past.
Sometimes this problem can take up a lot of my time in everyday life. Examples where I find it difficult to choose things:
Where shall we go? If hoping to go out for a day trip etc.
Which clothes to buy? Style? Colour?
How to get my hair cut? Coloured?
Decorating the house is yet another story.
I even have problems when grocery shopping with simple things like picking a bunch of bananas or a pack of baking potatoes. I’ll pick some up, look at them (carefully) pick up more, look, put them back, get a bit stressed, get more stressed the longer I stand there, feel like my brain is going to explode and still not know which to pick.
Oh dear this isn’t going well is it?
Of course choosing my favourite colour is not the most important choice I have ever had to make in life. I find making decisions about so many things a challenge. A recent example of this is, recently we had to choose a new washing machine. My brain went into meltdown, literally, about this. It has stressed me out so much and actually I don’t really think that’s rational. It took about a week of trawling through the internet, reading reviews, posting questions on forums, looking, searching, hunting, fact-finding and comparing. In the end I left the final decision to my partner because my brain couldn’t cope with it anymore.
I’m not entirely sure that this is normal.
I’m also not sure whether this is how anyone else’s brain reacts, or is it really just me?
I have found out from my old buddy, Mrs Google, that there is a condition called Aboulomania, which is a mental disorder – pathological indecisiveness. Apparently it comes from the Greek root words:
a- meaning without
boule – meaning will
The prefrontal cortex of the brain (which is linked to making rational choices) can hold several pieces of information. This can then overwhelm some people when they are trying to make decisions. Some individuals think that their decisions will have bad outcomes so over-analyse every situation far more than is necessary.
Err that’ll be me then…